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Berlinische Galerie: Paint it all! Tatjana Doll, CAR_Crankcase, 2008/2018

Still at the Berlinische Galerie. Obviously I liked this one. Totalled Deutsch hoonage? Easier fix than changing the timing chain. Sometimes I wonder if I’m emotionally swayed by art which is actually superficial at best and kind of white neoliberal corporate in its heart. I dunno. Would I watch 10 minutes of this Benz doing a Nürburgring lap? Duh! Simple pleasures.

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German Whip: Audi TT RS Mk2 (Type 8J) Coupé

Seen on Urbanstr. as the first snow started to fall, proper German hoonage of an Audi TT RS Mk2 Coupé in winter camouflage white riding slammed on black RoadForce centerlock rims (or at least pretending to be centerlock). “Guys better show respect / If they see man pullin’ up in a TT”

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German Whip: Audi R8 Type 4S Coupé

Seen on Weser Straße up Kottbusser Damm end, looking well stunting in Vegas Yellow, old habibis giving me the suss eye from Köşgeroğlu restaurant. I’m not really a huge fan of contemporary German hoonage, but the Audi R8 is a tasty slab of a whip, and that yellow is the brightest colour in X-Kölln. “Guys better show respect / If they see man pullin’ up in a TT”.

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Reading: Omar Sakr — Son of Sin

I love Omar Sakr, and Son of Sin is a beautiful novel but this was not an easy read. It was also an expensive read because getting ‘niche’ books from Straya or Kiwiland up to Europe is an exercise random fees and expenses. Fuck this book made me sad sometimes, like sad for the whole world, for all of us who survived through violence and emotional distance, abandonment and loneliness, and conditional, manipulative love. Yeah Omar habibi you are a gift to the world.

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German Whip: Mercedes-Benz W123 500CE AMG Coupé

Seen outside Café Fairouz on the corner of Reuter Str. and Sonnenallee. Tight as slammed frontend looking gangster on period-incorrect 500SL AMG Rims, 1984-ish silver Mercedes-Benz W123 500CE AMG Coupé. It’s been six months since I last saw any true German hoonage and I did a double U-turn stopping in the middle of the road just to admire this. Also pause to admire the habibis with their fades enjoying a Thursday evening shisha. Pure Neukölln this. “See man driving a German Whip.”

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German Whip: Oettinger Volkswagen Golf Mk4 GTI

Seen on Böttgerstraße up Gesundbrunnen Wedding way. Might be an R32, might be a 1.8T, might be a 2001. Definitely maximum Deutsch hoonage. It was dusk, so the flat light blue isn’t as improbably bright as it was when I stood on the cobbles and stopped cars to take the photo. White! White 5-spoke rims with just the right amount of tuck, and the whole Oettinger performance kit, misbahah hanging off the rearview mirror the finishing touch. Tight as fuck. The last of boxy small German hatchbacks before they went blobby. “See man driving a German Whip.”

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German Whip: Opel Astra G Cabriolet

Seen on Columbiadamm yesterday on the way for my daily-ish stroll around Tempelhofer Feld. Madness. Iridescent ultramarine with airbrush ghost flames spewing off the front wheel arches all the way to that tight spoiler! Those chrome rims! That body kit referencing the 2001 Opel Astra OPC X-Treme prototype! (Shoulda been xXx-Treme. also Vin Diesel approves.) It’s got Color Concept and Nightmare Custom decals on the back wheel arch, who might be responsible for this absolute delight of an early-’00s import tuner scene whip, but no real trace of either in the internet. Possibly my fave piece of hoonage in Berlin? I’d steal it. “See man driving a German Whip.”

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German Whip: Audi RS3 Sportback 8V Goodwood Green

Seen on Framstraße, Neukölln. Entirely for the green. Truth I am not much into German autos post the boxy tight era, buuuut … that green. In the pushing-30° of a warm and grotty Berlin summer … ok if it was mine, I’d swap out those rims, but that green? I’d have the brake rotors painted the same colour. “Guys better show respect if they see man pullin up in a TT”

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German Whip: Volkswagen Golf Mk7 R

Seen off Sonnenallee, repping late–’90s / early–‘00s JDM import culture with those decals on the C-pillar and that very German tuner hoonage paint job. Especially love the Autobahn + Sound System sticker on the window and the acid green disc brakes behind the TEC GT6 Evo rims. “See man driving a German Whip.”