Back in May when I was looking after the two insane Australians / Emissaries of Slime from VNS Matrix (that’d be the delightful Ms. V, Virginia Barratt, whom I’ve known since my last day in Australia (Sydney breakfast in Newtown) and the delightful Francesca di Rimini, whom I’d heard of ever since I was a student trolling around VCA — both of whom love Berlin German bread, cheese and wild boar sausage. And gin.), we all went out for dinner on the last night at a very German restaurant in Oranienstr, Wiener-fucking-Schnitzel kinda deal. At the table populated by loud Australians (that’d be us) and directly opposite me, was the vision in black, S.J Norman. Fucking conqueror’s name right there. I was all, “Faaark! They’re a babe!” and “Active Pretend They Doesn’t Exist Mode? Engaged!” (that’s the shy side there, not the cunty side), until we were leaving when they grabbed me and said, “Right, we’re hanging out. Number, please.”

And we did.

And it was sweary volumes of excellence.

And “short-form drama” (Television FFS) binge sessions.

And now they’re about to get on a plane for 12 days in Adelaide. More like 12 days of Radelaide. I was like, “Oh! The best chicken feet yum cha in ’Straya can be found on Gouger St!” and “There used to be this cocktail bar where you could get 2 for 1 on Friday for $10 and get utterly fucking hammered by 7pm.” and “umm… yeah … Adelaide … dunno what else … it’s been a while …”

So this is my good civic duty to anyone in Adelaide reading this (and I fucking know there’s at least a couple of you):

S.J is coming to Adelaide to perform in two festivals. At the same time. That’s how Metal they is. They’re premiering a 6-hour performance art / noise installation called Stone Tape Theory which is a very Metal name. (They might even wear corpse paint and possibly mix amphetamines into the smoke machines, though that idea’s a little up in the air (“No, Frances. No, I won’t be doing that.”)). They’re performing in Near and Far, put on by PADA, the Performance & Art Development Agency, and in Tarnanthi, the festival of contemporary Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander art. Fuck sometimes I miss the shit out of Adelaide. It’s the only city I’ve lived in where 100% of artists go to every fucking thing on in every festival (cos it’s hella boring the rest of the year), and the festivals kick arse.

Oh yeah, and that’s on in Queen’s Theatre, 16-20 October 5-11pm.

But wait! There’s more!

I was round eating pumpkin/vegetable soup with them this afternoon, and they showed me the Spill 15 festival guide, which is glossy black printed on matt black, so it’s totally Spinal Tap, “How much blacker could this be? And the answer is: None. None more black.” Cos after they’ve done 12 days in Radelaide, it’s back to Berlin for one day/night of vomiting jetlag then off to London for more of the same. More Stone Tape Theory, I mean, in Spill 15.

And that’s in Toynbee Studios, 29 October – 1 November 10am-4pm.

Fucking see it. They’re mad good. Here’s a photo of them from another work (I told them they looked like a very famous EDM/Dubstep musician. They were Not Amused. “But you’re laughing!” Not Amused!)