because i have been remiss…

I haven’t blogged much this month due to… oh I’m not sure, it just slips by sometimes and I think, “oh it’s been a while, I guess…” and carry on with other things.

Other things. I started a normal job. In the day, like regular people do. I get up at 06:30 so I can be there by 8am and leave earlier so then I have the evening to do web design stuff and about once every two days, yoga at 10pm.

I haven’t danced for two months. Till this morning. Awake so early because of my early habits, I took myself to ballett at Marameo, Edwin the delight teaching his usual class that runs on for two hours or more. Lucky for the yoga or I don’t think I’d have survived, nor felt good about myself. My body has changed from this absence, but more importantly…

I realise how much I miss this world, where somehow I feel is home for me. So familiar after this long, and I suspect it is not easy for my body, used to this constant moving, to let go. Hence the unremediable aches and tensions that only from moving with tension and strain from skin to bones can it be alleviated.

In the moment before taking off for a turn when there is too much time to think, and decide upon how many times to go around, usually choosing an ever-lower, ever-more-lacking in confidence number, and in the snap against the floor making against gravity and the downward anticipation becomes the upward torsion, in this instant, and it is a fine slice of time, Edwin says, “Three!”. And so, having had my own inner monologue overrun by his smart timing decide to go around three times. Because it did seem like a good number when he said it.

A lesson in ballett.

Outside I found what I have sensed these last couple of weeks. Irrefutable signs of life. Blurry, I am sorry, but as with the darkest and most short day, schnee und immer bedeckentheit, so should I mark this passing.