monadologie day 25 & 26

The twenty-fifth day being that wherein herd displays of nationalistic supremacy and mob imbecility occur across a country still insultingly and willfully ignorant and in denial of its own past and present. Well, we had a nice day in spite of that, anyway.

Today, with just me and Bonnie for the impending future, and rather yawny and feeling the absence in the studio, and worried how we could keep the same intensity without Lina saying, ‘Again … again … again…’. Somehow we got to the end and it was ok-ish.

I’m really troubled about making what I describe in relation to the other kinds of performance I make, as pure dance. I can’t quite provide a description of what that means, but to say perhaps that when I am making performance I need plenty of time to myself for research, and with this, whatever we do in the studio is the research might explain somewhat the dichotomy.

I’m also having audience anxiety. Normally I don’t care so much, of course there is a … I guess I want to ensure that irrespective of whether they like it or not they can’t deny it’s well-crafted, but as to anything else, I’m distinctly don’t care, but for this one … I actually see so little dance and care for it, the exact technique of choreographing, quite deeply, that I’m … That is to say, I know we can do some fast stuff and spectacle and people will go ‘wow!’, but what is more likely to be seen is an intense, grueling monster that is loud and relentless.

Bonnie and I did a couple of runs once filled up on coffee and banana (a distinctly unique taste combination, that does neither wondrous consumable any favours), and soft leg warmers for hurting knees, and filmed with excellent YouTube quality laptop webcam, and watched, and I became grim…

So, we talked, then watched again a couple of times (all these weeks for maybe 8 minutes, I am the slowest maker of movement in the universe), and talked some more and suddenly it became clear. I can’t say too much more just yet, it depends on what happens when we do what we decided in fact working. It could be rather doom-laden.

So here is a short clip of us wobbling small joints around, mapping various body-parts onto data visualisations (for me a wall plug), and concentrating on the deliberation in this. I think it would look rather nice with a stack of amps and a smoke machine. We are Sunn0)))’s back-up dancers.