Last night’s amusement was provided by old Season 2 dvds of South Park (thank you Cantonese dvd pirates). I was watching the episode where Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin inspires the boys to go crocodile hunting in the snow in the Rocky Mountains and stumble across a frozen Prehistoric Ice Man. I hadn’t thought about Steve Irwin in years, so it was a strange coincidence he died yesterday, speared by a stingray. I also watched Barbara Streisand in the “Spooky Vision” episode. By a strange coincidence, she didn’t die yesterday.
As we steer our boat down [the boys are on the sofa looking at TV], looking for these dangerous predators… Boy, there’s a king croc right here. [it slips into the water] He must be four meters; 12, 13 feet long at least. [it looks up at him] This croc has enough power in its jaws to rip my head right off.
I’ve got to be careful. So, what I’m gonna do is sneak up on it and jam my thumb in its butthole.
If I get bit out here, I’m 200 kilometers from the nearest hospital: I’d better be real careful jamming my thumb in its butthole. [jumps in and grabs the crocodiile] Oh, boy, it’s pissed off now.
I’m gonna jam my thumb it its butthole now! This should really piss it off! [reaches down with his left thumb to do it. The croc jumps up in pain and drops] Oh, yeah, that piossed it off, all right! [the boys cheer] I’ve gotta be careful!
[with left arm now bandaged and in a sling] Well! That was quite an angry croc! But I managed to escape with only a few bruises and a shattered left testicle. Next week we’ll look for more of these beautiful creatures, so we can learn more about them by pissing them off immensely. Thanks for watching.
