flying again

I’m flying to Hong Kong tomorrow, and then on to Guangzhou for a residency at Park19 until the end of May. Actually the residency doesn’t begin until April, but I’ve done everything in Melbourne I came back to do – hell – and I didn’t get Australia Council for the Arts funding again (perfect score of 12 failures), something about lack of cultural diversity or some such crap, I’ve stopped listening and stopped caring a long time ago and just think the best thing they could do for the arts in this country is close down and give the money to …. yeah blah fucking blah, who cares anyway? I honestly don’t think I’ll get funding for hell to perform it, and my Australian funding prospects in general this year too are really pathetic. I’ve been saying for so long I don’t want to be coming back here anyway, so maybe not getting funding is going to push me to … I dunno, find a new career as a showgirl in Paris or something.

So besides having to travel again tomorrow, and I really dislike the whole airport/flying rubbish, being stuck on a pressurised cigar hurtling through the stratosphere in itself is ok, it’s the food and being jammed up next to people I don’t know for 12 hours, the lack of personal space for me is a killer, besides this, I’ve been in a steady funk since finishing hell wondering what I’m going to do, how I’m going to get to make art in a place I can fall in love with, and mostly how can I come up with the great suitcases of cash I need for my own little adventure this year.

That’s all a bit negative, and everyone around me is going, “Oh, you must be so excited! Are you excited? Excitement??!?!?”, and I feel like I should be goose-stepping around in an Isla She-Wolf of the SS uniform, going, “Zhere ist NO fun hier!!!”, so I’m trying to get really fucking enthusiastic about jetting around the world for the fourth year in a row, living out of a suitcase making art in strange and exotic places, and how fucking lucky I am to be doing this, but what I really want is to just dance for a company in Europe for a year or so, and have a long break from begging for scraps and being constantly worried about what I’m going to do to earn money, because I’m living way below the poverty line and that really sucks when it comes to buying stuff like clothes and food, and for some reason I just feel like all those migrant workers squatting at Guangzhou train station at night looking lost and a little freaked out and hoping they get a job so they can eat.

And the actual point of all that whining is that like I said, I’m off to Hong Kong tomorrow night, and then on to Guangzhou, so blogging will be sparser than usual until I find an internet connection in g-town.